February 26: Taking the Lead or Losing Control?

It was obvious what God was telling me today.

First, my day started with a devotional about the purpose of lent. Often times, we focus on ourselves--"I'm giving up this," "I'm doing this," "I'm giving this,"--and it's not about God. Lent is not a time to reflect about ourselves, but rather to reflect God's mercy and holiness. I have to give up myself--my control--for him and his leadership.

Next, I went to choir. Our director would be coming in late from a meeting, and our pianist had laryngitis, so I was put on the spot to direct the rehearsal. Of course, I didn't know how. I hadn't had training nor time to plan. I selected a piece to sing and then sat down. I couldn't do it. I was given control, but I quickly realized that I was not prepared and didn't have the responsibility to handle it appropriately.

Third, on the way home, I tried using cruise control. Basically, I, for a moment, gave up control to the car, trusting that it would maintain the speed. At first, it was a little nerve-wracking, even though the brake peddle was just centimeters away. It occurred to me that I had to risk a little as I withdrew my control.

God needs us to do the same. We need to let it go (no pun intended). Giving Him the control takes risk and trust. But that's what it's all about.

February 25: Excitement

It's so easy to be wishful, to be hopeful, if you're excited. Today, I was excited about the snow and hopeful of some sledding and snowman making, and though it hasn't happened yet, I paid attention to the progress of the weather all day. It makes me wonder: if we were that excited about Jesus, would we pay attention to Him all day and support His presence and progress?

February 24: Predictions

The past week or so has been full of anticipation for snow. We've had several days off of school, and every day we didn't have school, there was barely any snow and absolutely no accumulation. The trend continued today, except the opposite. It actually snowed and stuck! And we had school. The administration of Fulton County has to predict the danger the students might face because of weather and decide if it is worth it to risk it. I think many times we make the same judgments about facing danger to serve God. When do you call it "too dangerous"? Is anything really "too dangerous" if God is on our side?

February 23: Don't Forget!

Today I went to GA Tech to an information session. The schedule threw me off of my usual school routine, so my focus was a little off and was away from what God wanted my focus to be. Finally, though, as I was walking my dogs, I realized my mistake, and acknowledged God. Immediately, I became more aware of all that He was around me--in nature, in my thoughts, in my experiences. Don't forget about Him!

February 22: Say It

Sometimes, it is a necessity to filter what you say. Other times, however, it's limiting. Children say exactly what comes to their mind whether they're expressing their love or their hatred. When it comes to expressing love, they've got it exactly right. Don't restrain from extending love to those around you. Share it with them and make sure they know it wasn't an accident or something meaningless. Today, I saw the results of people expressing their love. Imagine a world with love all around... It's time to start the change.

February 20 & 21: Relationships

I've touched on this before, but forming relationships with others is an absolute necessity to growing a relationship with our Father. Friendships keep us going; they act as encouragement, protection, comfort, stress-relievers, and are the medicine to every situation. They teach us empathy and how to look out for someone else rather than ourselves. These past few days, I have been blessed by amazing people--new friends and old--as we perform what we've been working so hard on for the past two months.

February 19: Giving Even When Your Pockets Are Empty

Today, God spoke to me through the testimony of a homeless woman. She called into the Fish radio station and donated to rescue an orphan in Africa. She had nothing and yet still gave everything. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here thinking about how I can't give a small percent of my money because I might "need" it. That's lame. So I didn't let my excuses get to me, but I donated, and even now, I still have plenty of money, food, shelter, and care. I am grateful for everything and everyone in my life. I am blessed by amazing small group leaders who support me in all I am. I have enjoyed being surrounded by friends who are funny and encouraging as we prepare for opening night. I am so blessed. Thank you, God!

February 18: Ashes

"Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return." 

That's a humbling thought. We are nothing more than dust, yet through Christ we are named the children of God! WOW. Today, I thought I wouldn't make it to the Ash Wednesday service and receive the custom of an ash cross on my forehead, but during our Oklahoma rehearsal, Dr. Mike came to present us all with the ashes. Thank you for the meaningful reminder of all that the season of lent stands for. 

February 17: Recognizing the Morning

Today, I had another day off of school due to "severe winter weather". When I woke up this morning, I peered out my window, inspecting the yard for any ice, snow, or even frost. There was none. So I had an empty day ahead of me. My mistake yesterday was that I didn't talk to God before beginning my day, and so I led a day without full dedication to God. Today, I made sure that I did not make the same mistake. And so, in that first half hour of my day, I rested in concentrated fully on God's presence, His will and His purpose for my life. Today, I might not have made all the right decisions and followed God's path perfectly, but I know for certain that I started off on the right foot, and if I do that every morning, I can't get too far off the path.

February 16: The Occasional Day

Today was a catch-up day. I took care of some cleaning, some work, but also catching up with friends. I enjoyed being able to relax and take a breath. It's been a real treat! Today I was able to be with God because I wasn't busy with lots of other things, but I also noticed the limitations in my life that I can change.

February 13-15: Love, Love, Love

This weekend, I was on a choir tour with church. At the beginning, we were friends, but by the end, we were brothers and sisters. Our mission was to make love a verb, and we did this both by sharing God's love with each other and distributing it to those around us. On Saturday, I found God in the small things and brief moments. Love isn't necessarily a long term project or relationship; what matters most is that it is pure--there is laughter and smiles and they're not fake. In order to have real relationships, we have to be real people. We shouldn't pretend to be perfect. By opening up to those around us, we present ourselves vulnerably, but then, we are able to connect and share the love, heart to heart. Don't be afraid. Be real and make the most of the little things.

February 12: Worth It

This week has been really busy; I had many tasks to do and it was hard to keep my focus on why I was doing them rather than just "getting them done". Today, I finished up two big tasks. One was assigning new choir members to their big/little sisters. I passed them out today and just a few minutes later, I was nearly trampled by one girl running and shouting, "I have a little sister!" That was just the enthusiasm I needed to remember why I work so hard matching up the girls. :) My other big task hasn't had an opportunity to do its work, but just seeing it come together is enough of a reminder.

God gives us tasks too. Sometimes, we might begin the task enthusiastically, but as it gets difficult, we may want to quit or just rush through it. DON'T DO IT!!! Stay focused on the reason, and do God's work. When the reward comes, you won't regret it.

February 11: Through the Difficulties

Today I had a calculus test. It's been a hard unit. My class of 15 students has been struggling, but we have this group message and we all laugh and joke about how poorly we understand the material and yet we support each other along the way. So, going into the test, we all encouraged each other and tried to put on a "confident" face. The times when it gets difficult are the times when we work together. God does not put trials in our lives, but he does make the most out of each of the trials we face; don't let these opportunities slip by.

February 10: Take It Easy

I can't imagine that God enjoys watching his children be stressed and tired. I believe that he wants us to take time to rest and move slowly. Sometimes, if we can't take the hint, he takes advantage of an illness (like a cold) to push us towards a period of rest. Today, he did just that.

February 9: Sneak Peek

Have you heard the song, "Beautiful Things"? It describes how God made each of us from dust and that we would still be dust if it weren't for Him. "You make beautiful things out of the dust." It goes on to say "You make me new; you are making me new."

As I was walking my dogs, and listening to this song, I looked up at the sky, and saw this beauty. Just as the song says, God was making beauty out of something that would otherwise by dull and gloomy. The rays of light were shining through the clouds. All of this newness is a sneak peek. One day, we will all be new, renewed in Christ, and today, I was privileged to see a sneak peek of that day.

February 8: Perspective

Today I was checking out at DollarTree. Usually, when I ask the employee how he/she is, he/she will respond "good" and that's the end of the conversation except for "your total is," etc. Today, when I asked the cashier how he was, he didn't simply leave it at "good"; he continued on to explain that even working in DollarTree couldn't be bad on a day like today since the weather was beautiful and he'd had a picnic lunch. He seemed truly satisfied with where he was. I wish we would all feel that way. Just imagine the change in the atmosphere if we all stopped complaining.

February 7: Using Our Gifts

I witnessed many people today using their talents to serve God. This morning and afternoon I, along with about 30 others, took part in using our acting and singing skills in the acting ministry at church. And tonight, I got to watch about 10 acts of high school students using their talents to raise money for their mission trip. It's cool and it's an inspiration to see God's blessings being put to work for the purpose they were designed for.

February 6: Perfect Picture

Have you tried to get that perfect group picture? It's hard. If they're babies or children, getting them all to look and smile is nearly impossible. If it's a group of friends, it's hard to coordinate. And when there are more dogs than people, we might as well give up. We don't need a perfect picture though. We only want something to save the memory, so being perfect for an instant doesn't accurately reflect the experience. Live in the moment and see things as they are. Don't try to be perfect so God can snap a photo. He wants us to be true to live and save honest experiences, not some "perfect photos".

February 5: Recognition

We love attention. It's something we crave. We desire to be noticed, and when we are noticed, we feel successful. Today, I had the privilege of seeing the difference it makes to people when you notice them.
1) At a meeting this morning, we recognized our advisor and celebrated her birthday by surprising her with a decorated classroom, cake, and a card. She loved it! She cried happy tears and smiled, laughed, and played all day long.
2) Today is Mary Elizabeth Paris's birthday. Every time I unlocked my phone, I saw between 10-15 Facebook notifications of people recognizing her birthday.
3) After choir today, I watched my friend compliment one of the directors. You could see her face and her mood light up!
4) I sent thank you notes to several important people for all they did to help with AYL, and I heard from one of them today about how much it meant to them.

We like being recognized by others, but don't forget that we should strive to make our recognition, His recognition.

February 4: Emotions

We are blessed by the ability to feel emotions. Though we go through experiences of pain, guilt, fear, and worry, life would be worthless without the feeling of joy, excitement, fascination, and pride. Today, I was watching two sweet girls at children's choir. They're sisters. At the end of rehearsal, their mom hadn't arrived. Together, they accompanied each other to find her and make decisions in the process; they were linked by their concern and curiosity. Emotions are a connection between people; they're our best form of communication. It is quite a gift for us to "feel" things. Take this blessing for all it is worth.

February 3: A Messy Table

 A messy table means a busy table, a full table and a good conversation since no one is eager to clear the dishes. It's nice to sit down and talk and enjoy everyone's presence. Especially tonight, we enjoyed a good family meal, and the last one we will all be at until August. Enjoy the time with the people God has given us.

February 2: Light in the Darkness

When light shines in light, it is barely noticed, but when light shines in the darkness, it is impossible to avoid it. Therefore, be light in Christ. When your light is shining bright, penetrate the darkness, don't blend in with the other lights. Go into the unknown and bring the love of God too!

January 30 - February 1: AYL

God is BIG. That is something that has been stuck in my head during this weekend. I was at AYL, an in town church retreat, and this year we learned about fame, particularly making Him famous. I've seen God in many places. Friday night, he was present in pots, clay pots. In small group, we read all 9 verses in the bible that are about pots after creating the analogy that we are pots and God is the potter. There are many elements of this analogy that are significant. 1) As pots ourselves, we have no right to judge the other pots, for we are not the creator. 2) Each pot was made by hand, and if the potter hadn't liked his creation, he would've molded it into something different. Who knew there was so much disguised in a pot?

On Saturday, we served the homeless through 7 Bridges. Throughout that experience, I saw God in the leaders who are so passionate about their work as well as in the joyful sons and daughters of Christ who are unable to live in a permanent shelter. Despite what we would consider poverty, they rejoice in God's name. They make Him famous because they have no possessions to worship.


Today, as I think back about the weekend, I recognize God in my college leader. She has enthusiasm that is contagious, and when she expresses her passion for God (or for math jokes), she is unstoppable. I have been blessed to spend time with her this weekend and to grow in my faith and my relationship with God--the Lion, the Lamb, the Son, the Father, the Alpha, the Omega, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Healer, the Teacher, the Lover, the Shepherd, Abba, and the many dimensions I still have yet to discover.